Lazarus Syndrome
by DomesticatedWerewolves
Summary: Carving pumpkins should be illegal, he says. How to make the most out of Halloween after the thirty-first. Psychoshipping Yami no Bakura x Yami no Malik


Kana: I must be insane to do this contest AGAIN. I had just gotten this off my list of things to stress about, and then it just decided to jump back on again. (sigh) I need to find a scrawny plot bunny and kill it.

**Season Five, Round One of Computer's Yugioh Contest**: _Psychoshipping (Yami no Bakura x Yami no Malik) _Mmmn, insanity at its best. I love it. But they'd never get together unless it was to see how much blood the human body holds. Or, you know, if they were a Death Note character or something (Seriously, when is MelloxMatt ever good?).

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Yugioh. I don't own pumpkins either.

**Summary:** Carving pumpkins should be illegal, he says. How to make the most out of Halloween after the thirty-first.

OOOOO

**Lazarus Syndrome **

**One-Shot**

OOOOO

"What day is it today?"

_Squish, scrap, squish, scrap, PLOONK_. "I dunno, the thirtieth?"

"Then what the hell is this?" Yami no Malik crouched in front of the television and pressed a button. A holiday jingle blasted into the kitchen from the living room, telling them to go to a so-and-so store for all their gift needs. "Isn't it October?"

"Oh you poor, poor soul," Yami no Bakura took the ridiculously large tarnished spoon and scooped out some more of the vegetable's brains. Ryou said pumpkin carving was a tradition, so he took control and tried it. So far he hated the living daylights out of the pumpkin. It smelled funny and it felt like innards. But he wasn't complaining about the latter all that much. "Here's how I figured it out. Since stores make all this money around Christmas and such, they set up all these advertisements so that people won't forget about the holiday."

"So they're trying to help us out by making sure we remember Christmas?" Yami no Malik changed the channel and stood up straight. He arched his back, feeling all twenty-something disks pop into place and make a satisfying cracking noise.

"I think so," Yami no Bakura took his pumpkin-scooping-spoon and shook it until all the orangey seeds had fallen off onto the paper plate. "But Ryou -," he grunted as he dug deep, deep into the vegetable, catching the dull end of the spoon on a hunk of meat, "- seems to loath these commercials with a passion. I don't know why."

"And they call us the angry ones."

OOOOO

Seventeen minutes later, the seed pile on Yami no Bakura's paper plate was nearly twice as high as it was earlier, and the entire apartment was beginning to smell like a dead animal.

"Thief, the apartment smells like a dead animal," stated Yami no Malik, who enjoyed repeating the obvious.

Yami no Bakura gave him a dirty look that could have set a bale of dry hay on fire. "Like I haven't noticed this," he said, his voice muffled slightly. This was due to the fact that he had pulled the collar of his shirt up to cover his nose and mouth as he worked on the pumpkin. His spoon had bowed back when he tried to scrap off the little orange tendrils that were stuck to the bottom of his pumpkin. So he just took a match and burnt those little things off, making a mess and creating an even more horrible smell.

Now he was poking shallow holes in a relatively flat area on the pumpkin, using a fork. Actually, it was just a single fork prong. The rest of the utensil was strewn somewhere in the depths of hell, where it will fester for all of eternity for making Yami no Bakura's pumpkin-poking job difficult.

"What should I make it look like?"

"What?"

"The pumpkin. What should its face be?"

"Let me see," Yami no Malik took the fork prong from Yami no Bakura, and began poking holes with enthusiasm. He stuck his tongue out between his teeth in concentration.

Yami no Bakura watched intently as the darker spirit poked out a familiar pattern. He smirked when it was done. "I don't think Ryou will like that."

Yami no Malik pouted. "I like it. I thought they _wanted_ us to like Pharaoh."

"Not a _headless_ Pharaoh."

OOOOO

The only candle that Yami no Bakura could find that was small enough to fit into the hollow pumpkin was one that smelled like evergreen. It was a strong, noxious stench that made the two spirits wrinkle their noses.

"That smells worse than the pumpkin guts," Yami no Malik grunted as the other spirit heaved the vegetable up onto the ledge.

"It was either this or one that stunk like oranges," Yami no Bakura panted, trying not to drop the damnable thing. "Besides, it'll be over in a second."

With a great effort, the spirit of the ring pushed the pumpkin over the ledge and off the roof of Ryou's apartment building. The orange globe fell from ten stories until it landed on a small sedan with a satisfying crash, sending hunks of pumpkin and glass everywhere and caving in the roof as if it was mere tinfoil.

"Not bad for two days work," Yami no Malik whistled as the car's alarm began to wail, making dogs bark and lights turn on in the building. "Though I think the moment passed after the thirty-first."

"Not bad at all," Yami no Bakura grinned, leaning precariously over the edge to get a better view. "A nice design too. We should take a picture to show the others."

"Maybe later," Yami no Malik stretched like a contented cat. "Do you think those seeds are done roasting?"

"I hope so."

"Will Ryou like what we did with the pumpkin?"

"I think he will. Though I don't know why we have to carve the stupid thing beforehand."

OOOOO

Kana: my baby cousin actually thought that was what you did with pumpkins on Halloween. She said she saw smashed pumpkins in the road (from the idiots) and she thought everybody lined up and dumped them off their houses. Children have odd thought patterns.

Read and Review or the idiots will find you and infect you.


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